Reader: “So, Lauren, I found this guy. He is everything you write about. He is godly, and kind, and wonderful, and his smile just makes me melt! So…. what now?”
tftg: “That’s amazing! I’m so happy for you. So have you been getting to know him?”
At this point, I may get several responses ranging from “We are friends, but..” to “He doesn’t know I exist.”
Today, I want to tackle the issue of “I really like this guy, but I don’t know what to do with my feelings.”
1. Give your feelings to God.
First and foremost, our emotions should never have control of us. Our feelings should be filtered through our own common sense, the Bible, and what we know God says about us. This is how we take the desperate out of dating.
a.) Common sense tells us that just because we like someone doesn’t mean they are right for us. They could be the most godly person on the planet, but that doesn’t mean that everything will work out. It doesn’t mean your personalities will be right for each other. It doesn’t mean that it’s meant to be. That’s common sense. You can like him all you want, it just doesn’t mean he will like you back… and that’s okay, because, let’s face it girls, we don’t always have the best common sense. {I’m certainly glad looking back that not every single guy that I have “liked” in my 27 years liked me back.}
b.) The Bible tells us that God will provide for all of our needs according to his plan. That plan includes our needs for love and a husband… in HIS timing. So how do you know that this isn’t God’s divine plan for your life? Well, you don’t. It’s good that you are opening up your heart, and that you’ve found a godly guy who is worthy of your heart, but you have to trust God’s hand that he will allow you to move forward if it is his plan.
c.) God tells us that we are loved. He tells us we are his beloved and that we will always be his treasured children no matter how anyone else feels about us. We can not allow the acceptance or feelings of others to determine how we see ourselves. We have to come to realization that IF this guy eventually likes you back, or even if he doesn’t, all will be just fine because you are in the arms of Jesus Christ. You are holding hands and being guided by the Author of time, and love, and relationships, and He will take care of you regardless.
2. Don’t forget to take your chances.
The guy needs to know a little bit about you to actually become interested in pursuing you. So… go talk to him. Say hello. He might ignore you, he might be kind and that’s it, but then again, you might marry him. Take your chances to show him a little bit of the funny, friendly, awesome or even shy, but sweet girl we know you are. He may just like what he sees in you.
What if you are already friends? He already knows you. Chances are, if you are already friends, and he hasn’t tried to get to know you in a romantic way yet, he either is a.) not interested or b.) has never thought about it. I would tread lightly, but some guys are just a little clueless when it comes to girls, and they don’t pick up on our little cues. Be prepared that it might not work out the way you’re hoping, but if you never say anything, then you will never get anywhere. Period.
3. Be open to all possibilities.
I’m not saying ask him out or text him constantly or stalk him every chance you get. {I’m assuming you are not a psycho here.} All I’m saying is that you have to open up just a little, you have to make yourself vulnerable, you have to give a little bit of your heart to get anywhere in relationships. Your prince is most likely not going to come with a crow bar to pry it open. If this guy is as charming and wonderful and godly as you say, then he is worth the risk. The best that could happen is that he falls in love with you and you live happily ever after. The worst that could happen is that it doesn’t work out, he is not the one God has planned for you, and you move on to find your prince in someone else. That’s okay though because you were trusting God all along anyway, right? ;]
Look, it’s not always meant to be. It’s actually only meant to be once in a lifetime. I could name several guys throughout my life that I had really huge crushes on, and I can’t name one of them that I wish I was with today. So trust God, take a chance, and be open to all possibilities, and know that God has a plan and it is more wonderful than you can imagine. The best part about it all is when our hearts and our identity and our worth are safe in God’s hands and our desire is to do God’s will, He will not let us make the wrong decision. Leave the rest up to Him.
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